a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
