i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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