do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize