so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
