I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
