i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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