i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
