KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
