Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
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