I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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