I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
