Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
there's paper in my vomit.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Randomize
