A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
