I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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