i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
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