How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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