bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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