Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
Randomize
