This dress was meant to end up on your floor
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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