Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
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