I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
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