You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
