I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
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