his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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