I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
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