hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
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