Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
