So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Randomize
