Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
a search helicopter?!
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
