No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
