I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
People in love make me want to vomit
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
