I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
