Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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