I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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