she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
