Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Randomize
