Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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