I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
