I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
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