I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Randomize
