Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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