At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
