Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Randomize
