I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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