There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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