well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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