her vagine was all disorganized.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Randomize
