yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
