I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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