I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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