guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
