At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Randomize
