Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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