Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize