would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
