We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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