About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
