i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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