i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
